A "Butterfly" Flaps Its Wings

We've all examined the evidence many times.  But does anyone truly believe it?  Caroline Kennedy, beloved daughter of America, with a tattoo? I know, it sounds farfetched.  And, I immediately counted myself among the skeptics, assuming that it was simply a spot or beauty mark or birthmark of some sort.  Here she is at the Democratic Convention ...

 

But upon closer investigation, the dark "spot" on Caroline's right forearm, does appear to have a shape all its own.

Of course, as we all know, the media went crazy.  Initial reports were far-ranging and, in some instances, pretty scandalous.  

Watchdog of the blogosphere, TYWKIWDBI (aka, "Things You Would't Know If We Didn't Blog About It"), seemed to sum up the buzz best with this photo and post...

"I've rotated the figure x3 and then embedded the composite for those who want to venture a suggestion as to what the tat's [sic] shape represents. 'An animal' is too vague. It almost reminds me of ancient petroglyphs, or a pictograph from cuneiform writing."

Soon thereafter, however, the Huffington Post seemed to put an end to the controversy by providing a quaint Kennedy-family anecdote explaining that the spot was, in fact, a tattoo of a butterfly, garnered in the 80's...

"During a night out in Hong Kong, Caroline, her brother, John F. Kennedy Jr., and her cousins Edward 'Teddy' Kennedy Jr., 47, and Kara Anne Kennedy, 48, challenged one another with a mischievous dare, a source said, noting that the group had consumed a few drinks. The boys challenged the girls to get a late-night 'tat' [sic] at a nearby parlor. Caroline and Kara went first and emerged 'bruised and bloodied,' emblazoned with butterflies on their arms."

But Kara Kennedy has, since the 1980's, never ventured into public wearing anything but a long-sleeved jacket or blouse.  Here she is, photographed with a diaper bag.

This suspicious behavior made me suspicious.  Kara's recent-y modesty seemed to indicate that there was, perhaps, more to Caroline's "spot" than initially met the eye.  And, that's when I had my aha! moment.  Using my microscope to analyze the photo (I've had it since childhood) (the microscope, not the photo), I was surprised to find quick and irrefutable evidence that the tattoo was and is, definitively, not a butterfly.  Here are the results...

It was and is, in fact, a large cluster of pubic lice.  

MESSAGE TO EVERYONE:  LEAVE CAROLINE ALONE.  IT'S NOT A TATTOO!!

Step Away from the Window, Honey

Or at least put on a rubber.

I Heart New York

Check out this awesome dude on the subway. He walked up and down the car with this big overstuffed-lookin' black bag of trash. Then he said, "Can't never find a seat!" and used the trash bag as a beanbag chair. Sorry the pic is not very good quality, but, look how he's sitting. Just when I thought there were no Happy Hobos left, New York City went and found me one!

Okay, back to Shiba Inu Puppy Cam.  

Poker is Porno

Since when did poker get so sexy? Check out this action from the final table of the 2008 World Series of Poker.  Pouty-mouthed Russian sexpot Ivan Demidov gets ridden hard by nerdiliciously stern Danish twinky Peter Eastgate. Mmmmm...

Obama's Sex Ed Program for Kindergarteners

Barney Will Be Missed, Though

I can't help it.  I like Bush's punky little doggy, Barney.  Despite his reputation for being "aloof and entitled."  The last time he made news, it was over a vicious spat with Karl Rove (who he aggressively disliked).  And, honestly, what's not to like about that. We'll miss you little Barney!

Arab Boys

Arab boys have the hottest asses.

Another Seriously Awesome Chick

And I don't mean Rachel Maddow. Although, I love her, too.

She's My Girl!

Am I all alone in my obsession with Chelsea Handler's show?

World Vote 2008

Ever wondered who would be president if the whole world could vote? Well, thankfully, the good people at the economist have collected this info into a color-coded map!  The red countries are for McCain and the blue ones are for Obama: click here to check it out. 

A Few Words on Politics

Some of my friends and readers have commented on my relative lack of political commentary during this very exciting political season. So, I thought I’d throw together a few words on the topic …

A roll of the dice, lipstick on a pitbull and then on a pig, phone calls at three am, a hurricane in New Orleans on the eve of the Republican convention, a lovely flute solo, the National Press Club getting a lecture on the mannerisms of white people when they play in marching bands, seven houses, moose burgers, mooses in general, fishes who love offshore oil rigs, Stephen Colbert gets 2% in North Carolina on an anit-bear platform, a congressional inquiry into non-American attitudes, a $400 haircut, a $150K shopping spree, McCain saying “cunt” again, Anderson Cooper-Vanderbilt's expose on the public-school non-madrasah in Jakarta, sex education for Kindergartners, Paris's energy policy, the Tuzla tarmac, a sick grandma in Hawaii, Socialism, Chuck Norris, debates ad infinitum, debate bingo, GodDAAAAM America!, New Hampshire polling, the state of Alaska, Scranton, the Real Virginia, “9-11, 9-11, 9-11!” (to quote a NYC drag queen), bitter folks clinging to God and guns, lizard-tongue faces, Miss Alaska 1984's second runner-up meeting Henry Kissinger, si se pueda!, America’s "first black president" as a racist, SNL’s higest ratings in 14 years, a Broadcast Journalism degree from the University of Idaho, the New Yorker as edgy, being ready on Day One, a VP candidate who doesn’t know what a VP does, Colin Powell seeming like a good person, the dude from the Weather Underground is apparently an important education advocate in Chicago (who knew?), Joe the Plumber isn't a plumber, Tim Russert is dead, Hillary had, like, a fiesta with a bunch of Puerto Ricans in Puerto Rico, and a black man named Barack Hussein Obama is poised to win the US presidency in a landslide.

I mean, honestly. Ann Coulter can’t get attention right now. Why would I try?

Mother Dog and Pups Seek Loving Home

Finally...

Pakistan helps with the search for Osama bin Laden.

OMG!!!!! IT'S CINDY MCCAIN!!!!!!!!

"Cindy McCain is wearing a cast because she sprained her wrist last week while shaking hands with an enthusiastic supporter." -CNN

This kills me for three reasons:

1. Cindy McCain is apparently quite delicate.
2. Cindy McCain has an enthusiastic supporter.
3. It's very funny - in a traditional, even classical sense - to combine #1 & #2. (I can only imagine the scene. "OMG!!!!! IT'S CINDY MCCAIN!!!!!!!!!!" Cindy, carefully, somewhat tentatively, puts forward a perfectly manicured paw. All hell breaks loose.)
   

Islands in the Stream

Amazingly enuff, Sung and I both came across this video last week - me because Leslie Hall is playing at a show I'm going to on Tue and Sung because, well, he's impossibly in-the-know.  Anyhow, it's so awesome, eh?

My Poker Hero is a Teenage Girl

And I got to meet her! Well, talk to her on the phone for an article in the new issue of BUST Magazine, anyway. (Once again proving that Emily Rems is the best friend ever!)
Click the images below to read 'em!

Thanks, Wrinkly White-Haired Dude!

I love that Paris's response ad is smarter than McCain's original.  And she gets her own jokes.  I miss The Simple Life.  

Soft focus

Sans the soft focus, this is just another ass, trust me.

Swingin' on the Flippity-Flop

I just heard this story the other day for the first time and thought I'd share it... In the heyday of Grunge, the New York Times called Kurt Cobain's producer's office because they wanted to write a small feature on Grunge Speak. The call was transferred to a 25 y/o sales rep named Megan who then made up a bunch of silly words for the NYT, which they immediately printed as fact. Check out the list of words. God bless you, Megan, wherever you are!

Cate Blanchett!

Who knew she's got a huge hairy dick!

Forget the New Yorker cover

How funny is Barack in this?!

Smoke City

Tacky-chic to the max, baby!  Love it!

I'm a sucker for a boy with pretty eyes

No Homo Nada

This song is gay.  

And I'm strangely attracted to it.

Greetings fuckwads

Hi world. I thought I'd finally start a blog and share my pithy pithy thoughts on pithy pithy things. As Stephen Colbert might say, "You're welcome."