Green Onions Are the New Bread

I was strolling along with my coworker, Isabel, today, TOTALLY MINDING OUR OWN BUSINESS on a rather crowded subway platform in the Times Square station, when we came upon THIS...

... a bundle of green onions.  It stopped me dead in my tracks.  Seriously, chills went down my spine - for a few reasons that might not be immediately clear to people who don't know me well and also because you're only seeing this crappy unclear camera-phone photo.  

• First, people were steering pretty clear of these onions for some reason.  The photo looks like it was taken in an empty lonely spot and NOT on a busy Times Square subway platform, right?  There were people EVERYWHERE.  But, nobody was going ANYWHERE NEAR these onions.  
• Second, the onions were exceedingly crisp and fresh-looking. I'm sorry but anything that's SITTING ON THE GROUND of a Times Square subway platform - truly the penultimate in DIRTY FILTHY GROUND - should NOT EVER be looking fresh.  
  

Okay, I was suspicious and I made Isabel wait while I cautiously snapped this photo.  Now, anyone who knows my history of being attacked by bread in public will understand my apprehension. In fact, I should probably chronicle a bit of that history here (I don't want anyone to think I'm just kidding, or, conversely, crazy).  But, on second thought, I'm not gonna do that.  Let's give it a day or two.  Otherwise, who knows, I may jinx myself and wind up looking down the wrong end of a bundle of green onions before midnight.  (Something I really don't need in my life right now, to be honest.)  

So, here's the deal, let's just take a few deep breath and give it a few days - let fate do whatever it's gotta do to me - and then, only then - assuming no bread-and-or-green-onions-related "mishaps" - I'll explain it all to you.  

Wish me luck!