I use generous amounts of toilet paper. I do. Why? Because I want to make sure my ass is wiped just as clean as humanly possible. I also want to make sure that I don't get anything nasty on my hands while I'm doing it. This requires generous amounts of toilet paper. So, I'm always left feeling rather put out when I'm at someone's place and I gotta do the deed and they have a toilet with barely any water pressure. It's tough to blame them, because, I assume they didn't test the toilet for water pressure prior to moving in (although, honestly, they should've). But, I can't help but be disturbed by the knowledge that they are most likely not wiping their ass(es) properly. How could they be? The toilet would get plugged up. Clearly. Because, in order for me to make-do, I have to run my generous amounts of TP down the tube in a couple separate flushes. Flush, wait, flush, wait, flush, etc. Thankfully, I don't have this problem in my apartment. It's like being on the space shuttle. WOOSH! Once I accidentally flushed a washcloth. No problem. Anyway, my point is this: The next time you find yourself waiting for a guest to use your bathroom and you hear multiple flushes and you're thinking, "What the hell's that freakshow doing in there?" ... please stop to consider that maybe the freakshow is you. You and your shitty stanky ass.
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